As people, we seem to get stuck in this funk, especially the longer the relationships last. We start to follow the same routines and we start to get super comfortable, like we are in auto-pilot. This routine life hits all of us, to where we don’t even realize that we aren’t giving our spouse the attention they need. As people, we all need to feel that connection and love of somebody else, whether you want to believe it or not. There are several different ways to make sure not to get caught up in this routine which is very important because this is where that “spark” starts to die and before you realize it, it’s to late.
The first BIG way to help keep this spark alive is to simply listen. I know what you’re thinking, “what a basic answer,” “why is this random dude on a blog saying the same stuff I can just google?” When I say listen, it isn’t that simple to just be in the same room and hear what the other person has to say. I am talking about long term listening but also listening that isn’t spoon fed to you. Fellas I am talking about the kind of listening to where your lady doesn’t have to say “hey babe I want some flowers,” before you go and buy her flowers. Every day should be like a study guide, no I am not suggesting you get out a pen and paper and write notes down, although if this is what helps you remember, then DO it!! To many failed relationships come about because one person in the relationship is waiting for the other person to plan something or make the first move and vice versa, and before you know it, BAM!! That flame gets extinguished so quickly while both parties are wondering where it went wrong.
Since my wife and i have been together, whether it has been gifts or coming up with dates, her exact words are everytime “I have no idea how you are going to top this one.” Here we are twelve years later and she is still surprised on the gifts and dates that I have come up with. This is because for twelve years, I have been taking mental notes and listening to everything she is saying, whether it is “oh I like that or I would love to have that.” Yes, to come up with various dates, it does take more than taking her to dinner and buying a movie ticket, don’t get me wrong, we loveeeeeee the movies and it is okay once and awhile but it tends to fit right in there with our “auto-pilot” phase; don’t worry though, that is exactly what this blog is for, to help plan that perfect date and finding new ways to chase her.
When planning dates for your lady, always remember do not get discouraged if your plan does not go exactly as you drew it up!! Sometimes, nothing will go as you planned due to unforeseen circumstances and that is okay!! This brings me to another funny story I need to share and will show you that it is okay to have plans fail because at the end of the day, your lady just wants to know that you are constantly thinking of her, unless she is one of those that is all about that money, then leave her, she is no good for you.
Anyways, I was doing what I usually do and researching places and trying to find the most perfect and romantic place for a night out. So I instantly thought the beach, what could be more romantic than finding a restaurant on the beach to eat while watching the sunset. So, I finally found this place, a rooftop restaurant and bar (so I thought). I was super excited to take her here and couldn’t wait to surprise her. Well we showed up to this area, it was about a 45 minute drive and we walk up looking for where a hostess was so we could be sat. Well, I surprised to find out that it WAS NOT a restaurant but more of a walk up concession stand 😅. I walked up ther so confused, come to find out that it was just a concession stand and then on the roof was just a bar, so we actually skipped the eating part and went up on the roof to enjoy the view with some drinks. We laughed so hard then and we still laugh so hard now when we bring it up, so it is okay for plans to fall through, it happens!! All you can do is make the best of it and move on!!
It is very important that when you start planning a date, that you try very hard to keep it a surprise. The not knowing makes it that much better and it is always so fun to keep them guessing!! One of my all time favorite dates would be to get all of her favorite foods and get a picnic basket with a blanket and then choose your favorite location for a picnic!! You can choose a park, the beach, a botanical garden (which is our favorite) and pack some music and just enjoy each other without the stresses of life. This date is very cost effective and will not take up to much time so if that annoying thing called life gets in the way, It is a great way to have a conversation without life getting in the way and just feel that kind of zen you should feel with your spouse.
So something super easy that you wouldn’t think would make so much of a difference, but trust me it does!! I know in a lot of this, I keep talking to the fellas, but I also feel like the ladies can also keep the spark going and plan out some dates, because the fellas enjoy being surprised and pampered too. It takes both sides to keep that flame burning. So keep following me for more advice and we will take a burnt out flame and reignite it or we will just keep it burning one post at a time!
Romance isn't dead, you're just lazy 